sábado, julio 22, 2006

La estufa eléctrica -el foro-


Internet... ja. Foros, porno, webs oficiales y extraoficiales, fakes, rumores, porno, bolgs, buscadores, enciclopedias virtuales, porno, chats, vídeos, clones, invasiones, porno, trolls etc. La de cosas con las que uno, siervo de la curiosidad y el morbo enfermizo, puede toparse en este mundo. Red de redes, dicen.

Siendo sinceros, a mi la mayor parte de las weblogs personales me ponen del hígado. No se lo tomen a mal, en la mayor parte de los casos no guarda mi visceral rechazo relación alguna con los contenidos o la personalidad del autor. O sí... Escritores fracasados con mucho desahogo que vomitar, escritores de éxito con mucha moral que reconstruír, aprendices de periodista con ingenuas intenciones y el horario escolar pegado al culo, aprendices de periodista con la carrera terminada y mil años de experiencia, violadores del término freak, señores y señoras con mucho mundo inteliol... Hijos de puta, sois muchos, juntos y revueltos.

Mi espíritu siempre ha pertenecido más al mundo de los foros, donde cabe quizá más innovación en la forma. Sin embargo, he de reconocer que no todos los blogs despiertan en mí malos gestos y repudio, algunos son simplemente material internáutico del montón, inofensivos y eficaces en su propósito, y otros merecen el rotundo calificativo de joyas. En verdad, he de admitir que si antes de escribir una sola línea de esta página, me encontrara con un espacio de idénticas características, me cagaría en la madre del hacedor de la web, pues seguro hubiese creído mi valioso tiempo perdido. En resumen: lo mío con los blogs, es una relación de inherente pasión-pavor; y no debería darle más vueltas al asunto. Ahora bien, cualquiera de vosotros, generosos visitantes,tenéis a mi humilde gusto las mejores páginas de internet, sin duda. Os conozca ya o no, mi amor por ustedes es eterno. Muac.

¿Dije ya lo de los foros? ¿Qué me gustan y tal?
"- Sí, sí, lo dijiste"
¡Cállese, Señor Merienda, que estoy hablando yo! Bueno, pues eso, que todo lo que 6dedosgordosdelpie no hace en su blog (que mal me suena eso) lo esparce con gusto en su otra Estufa, la original, única e inimitable. Ésta tiene forma de foro, y hoy adolece las presiones malditas del verano, estación espantadora de usuarios y actividad alguna. La estufa es un foro de mala muerte, donde se reúnen unos pocos sabuesos para pisarse los intestinos unos a otros, haciendo sangre del agua manantial y vertiendo bazofia con constante desgana.

A esto se le llama mala vida, me cago en las muelas doradas. Pásense por allí si tienen tiempo y ganas (sobre todo eso, ¡GANAS!). ¿Se dan cuenta? Esto de la red es un bucle machacón y reiterativo hasta la náusea. Y los blogs, al fin y al cabo, son solo el cénit del egocentrismo coprófago elevado a la novena potencia. El autor se quiere u odia a sí mismo como el que más, pero idéntica enfermedad padece el que lee o critica sus palabras. Todos somos putas, todos somos bloggers. ¿Quieres tú leer el míos, corasón?

65 :

Blogger Lucinda Excretó esto...

Lo cierto es que el foro es un charco inmundo de frikadas varias...

Sin embargo no estoy cien por cien de acuerdo con los foros, será porque tuve malas experiencias en dos de ellos en los que participé durante algunos años...

El blog de algún modo es algo más personal y que cojones, lo ladras tú cuando quieres...

domingo, 23 julio, 2006  
Blogger Gaurwraith Excretó esto...

MALDITO HIJO DE BLOGGER!!!

lunes, 24 julio, 2006  
Anonymous Alex Excretó esto...

Visité el foro que tanto se empleña en publicitar... y sintiéndolo mucho (por lo que afecta a su ego) debo decirle que el nivel de inmundicia del que presumen es infinitamente menor al de otros antros que circulan por ahí.

De hecho, trás un vistazo rápido vía google, he encontrado uno, nacido de una celeberrima page, que supone todo un descenso a los infiernos sin escalas. Lo peor de peor de género ¿humano?.

Me aburren los foros basura. A los cinco minutos ya estoy harto de las gilipolles paridas por cualquiera de los muchos reprimidos que los pueblan. En mí caso seguí un camino paralelo al Fry de "Futurama" ("Gracias a Internet, ahora aborrezco el sexo")... Tras mis dos primeras semanas de vida virtual en las que me saturé de cybersexo, terminé hastiado... Qué quiere que le diga, prefiero el sexo real, es más sucio.

Así que me dediqué a ojear foros (por lo general, de cine)... Sin embargo, este formato me aburre. Prefiero los blogs, sean o no personales, dicen mucho más de quien se esconde detrás que cualquier erupto en forma de frase que componen el lenguaje universal de la mayoría de esta subclase de foros.

A juzgar por su nueva mascota, creo que no le quedó claro quien es quién en la película de Cronenberg... Jeff Goldblum era la mosca.

Coincido en que su nuevo avatar es repugnante. Produce una dentera que a su vez impide concentrarse a la hora de leer sus comentarios... Aunque tal vez sea eso lo que persigue.

Por cierto... Su declaración inicial me recuerda el aquel diálogo de "Los locos de Cannonball" (obra capital del cine autista) en la que un tipo de la mafia decía algo así:

Capo: "Controlamos la prostitución, el tráfico de drogas, la estorsión, la prostitución..."

Adlátere del capo: "Jefe, esa ya la ha dicho"

Otra vez el Capo: "Me gustan las putas..."


Qué sabrá usted cómo la chupo...

Como el tío Clint ha cometido usted dos errores... Uno de ellos el de linkearme. Mi page es evanescente, en cualquier momento puede desaparecer. El otro es el de enterrar su viejo nick... Prefiería imaginarle como a un hijo putativo del gran Bruce Campbell..

lunes, 24 julio, 2006  
Blogger 6dedosgordosdelpie Excretó esto...

Jeff es la mosca que alimenta a la araña. Es lo máximo a lo que pude llegar con esa mierda de programa.

Siento decirle que sé como la chupa, y muy bien además, ¿se cree que esos años de cibersexo no dejan rastro, ingenuo?

Yo siempre he sido 6dedos, lo de Campbell fue un fugaz divertimento.

Y sí, mi foro es una cosa muy gris, triste, la verdad. Pero deje que crezca y madure, que aún no se ha explotado todo el pus que debería.

Por cierto, están ustedes muy pesados con mi ávatar. De la misma manera que soy 6dedos desde hace 15 años, interneses a parte, el dedo mutilado me acompaña adolecido de su herida de forma inherentemente pegajosa. El ávatar soy yo, y yo soy ese ávatar.

lunes, 24 julio, 2006  
Blogger Diogenes Excretó esto...

Es cierto que el mundo blogger esta lleno de gente infame 8 entre ellos yo), pero no es más que un centro comercial en sábado.

Y no por eso dejo de comprar en Zara ropa de dudosa calidad hecha por gente del 3er mundo, jugar a los bolos en la bolera junto a jóvenes llenos de granos con sus gorras de beisbol y sus caras de eterno palurdo. no por ello de jor de ir al cine a sentarme al lado de una pareja de Móstoles que al salir comprará un bonito juego de café en Aloja do gato preto.

Quién eres tú para criticar a la puta mierda que pulula por el mundo. Acaso te crees mejor que Popotxo

martes, 25 julio, 2006  
Blogger 6dedosgordosdelpie Excretó esto...

Yo también compro ropa cosida por negritos explotados y muertos de hambre. No es que no me haya planteado cambiar de hábitos nunca, simplemente, no tengo moral.

¿Qué quién me creo yo para criticar nosequé...? Pues me creo mejor que tú, y que él, que ese, el otro, etc. No tengo remordimientos, moral ni humildad. Bob Geldof, Lucinda, Gaurwaith, Alex y tú, sois excelentes personas, pero yo os supero en todo menos en la capacidad para resolver ecuaciones matemáticas. Que por otra parte, es bastante, podéis daros por satisfechos.

No deje de leer mis mierdas, un besi. (-muac-)

martes, 25 julio, 2006  
Anonymous Alex Excretó esto...

Bob Geldof es un pedazo de cabrón del tamaño del Everest...

Gracias por lo de excelente persona. Lo añadiré a mi curriculum y puede que me sirva para conseguir un empleo de mozo de almacén en un Carrefour.

martes, 25 julio, 2006  
Blogger El Calentito Excretó esto...

Pues me podría pasar todo el día visitando blogs... me gusta. Me puedo considerar un friki ???
jejejeje! Saludos!

miércoles, 26 julio, 2006  
Blogger Anxova Excretó esto...

Debo deciros, oh mi desconocido lector, que me tenéis intrigado. Dias hace ya que intento sin demasiada fortuna seguiros el rastro, y no os puedo ubicar. ¿Algún gallego que he conocido fuera de Pedia? Frikipedio os juro que llegará a la madurez, mas no sin antes aclarar yo el misterio de vuestra identidad... es en realidad eso lo que me tiene atascado con el séptimo textículo...
¿¿¡Quién [vagina] sois?!! (y mientras lo digo aplasto una grácil mariposa hijaputa de la polilla en el brillo de mi monitor...)
No me hagáis sufrir más.
Por cierto, muy bonito tu antiblog. Y me mola lo de "es usted la mierda".

jueves, 27 julio, 2006  
Blogger Roque Excretó esto...

No puedo dormir pensando en la foto de tu post. aparece en mis sueños y me dice cosas sucias al oído.

Por qué lo has hecho?

viernes, 28 julio, 2006  
Anonymous Anónimo Excretó esto...

El avatar de 6dedosgordosdelpie pertence a alguna película, verdad?
Deseo esa referencia cinematográfica si es que existe.
Gracias.

lunes, 31 julio, 2006  
Blogger 6dedosgordosdelpie Excretó esto...

Creo que es de "Ringu" El cículo

Pero eso es lo de memos, no firmo mis mierdas con él por admiración a la película, aunque sí le reconozco su valor como anfitrión (ingenuo) de un nuevo cine revolucionario.

lunes, 31 julio, 2006  
Anonymous Anónimo Excretó esto...

Jajajajaja valor? jajajaja

jueves, 03 agosto, 2006  
Blogger 6dedosgordosdelpie Excretó esto...

Sí, valor, no es una cuestión de calidad (puede incluso que sí de cantidad). Hideo Nakata ayudó a echar vaselina dentro del mercado occidental para que nosotros, ingenuos, abriésemos los ojos y la mente ante el ciclón oriental. Si muchos no hubiesen sabido de Ringus, rings y maldiciones, jamás les sonaría el nombre de Takashi Miike, por poner un ejemplo.

jueves, 03 agosto, 2006  
Anonymous Anónimo Excretó esto...

...Por eso todas las películas de terror japonesas tienen una igual americana

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